July to the end

Can't believe that today is the end of July. Now i am starting to look into going to college. Monday i am going to go down to clark college and see what kind of programs that they have and have me get started on those. also August 5 to 15 we will be having fair days. My mom and i are going up to seattle

Making sounds

Have you notice when ever i tried to tell my parents something; they always put me down. They fall back in their same cycle and it never changes; I always feels that i am mistake and unwanted in their life. I just want to go away and never come back and maybe then they will releize that i am important to them as much as my sister.

I seem like that i am talking about killing myself but that is what it feels like then maybe then they will relize that they need relalize what they are doing to me. They make me feel that i unwanted and i have no rights in their eyes. They love my sister more then they love me. I don't know if they even love me at all. I always mess up their lives. They don't care about me at all.

Over reacting....

Earlier this morning, I was so pissed off at my dad. I am not going to killed myself or run away... I am going to turn to GOD for my time of need...

Dentist fun? or not!

This morning, my mom and i went to our regular dentist appiotement. Of course, they decided to put my mom first and i am sitting in a chair for an hour and half. Mind you, i don't mind 20 minutes but an hour and half... I had many of things that i wanted to do today and now i can't do them because they took so long. I mean that it took us 2 hours at the dentist appiotment and now they want me to brush my teeth five times a day. I barley get in 1 and that is if i am lucky on doing that.

Night time foes

When you are a child; you have these night things that come out and like totally scare you to the point that you have to scream for your parents to come and save you from this thing. For me, now 21 and still having these nightime dreams. It's totally dumb. Maybe it's my way to handle my stress level. So today i have decided that i'm going back into consuling for this and see if that helps.
I want to be able to talk about anything and everything that is in my head and get it out so i can be whole person and not be so negivate all the time. I am mean that my family decribes me as this person that is always happy and careful when i was growing up but not now. I just wish that i could return and be myself for a change and not be this person that has to be a fake and not even real to me.

cyberbully

This morning, I was watching a movie and that it remind that Cyberbully or any kind of bully happens everyday. I had that growing up. I used to have it on myspace but i never used my myspace account anymore and since I am have changed my facebook page to a more private account. because of the fact that there is so many facebookers that i don't know on my page and now i am going to tell my personal friends and family to go to my other facebook page because i can't control on who is on my friends list that i don't know. If you don't know if you are accepting people that you don't know on your personal page because you want to just be friends with people. They could cause serious damage. I was a victum in 10th grade to it. It was hard. There was days that i just wanted to crawl up in a ball and just cry my eyes out

Flow of money

condering as soon as i get money, my friend decides that she wants to spend my money. Yes, i get that we both have money but why do i have to spend it? I just don't get it.

take me off & put me back on

So I went on facebook this morning, only to find out that my cousin took me off her facebook page yet again. Knowing that my cousin is going thou a hard time but taking a family member off your facebook is not right.

Happy first birthday! Zach!

Happy birthday little Zach as you turn one this year

later bellas part two (final)

So today was our bunco night and the past eight months or so; I have been losing money and tonight i finally make it up by winning both most buncos and second place. I would have gotten first if i had two more extra wins that would make me one rich girl... So it was really fun!

Now there will not be a post for the month of August but i am going to repeat this when the bunco was supposed to happen. We decided to put two months in one day. That's right both my mom and i had Bunco hosting duties back to back so we decided that we would combiate both and do it as one...

Later Bella part 1

yet again; i am posting something about being late for a very important thing. Do these people know that we don't wait for them to get their butts here? It's not very fun trying to explain why we have to wait to a whole house full of old people. I mean don't get me wrong I love the girls that are in our bunco but man they are impatient.

Growing up; I was taught that if you were going to be late for something important such as family activites or a game with friends or anything! THAT YOU CALL AND SAY THAT YOU ARE GOING TO BE LATE! Instead of making me explain why we have to wait for ya to get there.

Next Bunco post

Kidsworld nightmare

Last night, we had about eight to ten children crying their eyes for their mom or dad and the fact that one of the girls were teething... We had to look for help major help to get them calm down. It was little scarey to leave them early. i normally stay until the end of groups but last night, i left at the end of service...

Funural time!

today was my friend's grandma memorial service and since i did not get to go to Amanda's wake. I did not get to say good bye but today i was able to say good bye to her grandma. She was so sweet lady and i love her. Her granddaughter is having a hard time with accepting her grandmother's death and that it's going to take time to grieve progess... so tomorrow i have decided to call my old daycare person and have her talk to her about what is going on. i think that is important for her to able to talk to someone else then me and her husband...
Good night

Switch me roles

couple of weekends ago my friend decided to be late for meeting us somewhere and she was an hour and half late. Totally unacceptable in my mind. Well this last weekend she allowed me to borrow her laptop that she doesn't even use it. Now tonight she decided to tell me via facebook that she wants it back tomorrow and annouced that if i wanted it i could have it for 50 to 250 dollars. The computer is totally not worth it and someone needs to tell her about it. I think that no one is going to buy it at all for that much.
See u later

Mix feelings

today was the first time since i was over at Linda's house for a birthday party. Well the reason that i chose this blog was because of the fact Kai had to go home to her biological father and his family members which i had mix feelings about because of the fact that was the last time that i saw her. I prayed to god about this and he worked his magic and helped me thou this day.
God Bless
Michelle

Panic attacks oh my!

in the past, i have little panics expect for the one in Canada, that it's self is another story, waiting to be told, I have been noticing the last couple of weeks if i am late i will have them. I have to remain myself that i can't control the traffic or the fact of being on the buses. I just have to do the best i can and be okay with that!
God bless
Michelle
PS: I have noticed that i don't like to be in small spaces for to long...

Alayah's fourth birthday party

SPECIAL NOTE: THIS BLOG IS IN CONNECTION OF MIX FEELINGS THAT I POSTED EARILER....
This morning, my mom and i headed out to Alayah's birthday party this afternoon. We headed out and had to stop to get food. it's was really good then we stopped at Fred Meyers to get her birthday present. Then we headed out to her birthday party place. I wished that they would put it someplace in town but it was really good. the weather was nice. The problems: All the kids were not listening and that was not fun at all! If i was a mother, i would tell my children or child I would expect them to be good and behave for the day. That maybe i would have to think to have a child or make my husband watch the kids for the day there.
Have a bless day
Michelle
PS: I DO NOT HAVE ANY CHILDREN OR MARRIED. I DO HAVE A BOYFRIEND THAT IS IT....

No more ABC 4 ME

I AM NOW ANNOUCING THE MINUTE THAT ONE LIFE TO LIVE, I WILL NOT WATCH ANY ABC PROGRAM EXPECT FOR GENERAL HOSPITAL AND THAT'S IT.

sleepless nights

this morning or should i say last night i went to bed with a full purpose to get at least 10 hours of sleep... that's what i need to move around and feel good about my self... do you think that happen? no it did not happen... so now i am writing this blog at 5:09 am wide awake or getting sleeping

Blogger returns!

seems as of late that i have been off of my blogger and i don't know why maybe it's because the blogger system has not been working for me at all and now it is working and now i am fighting to catch up with all of blogs... right away this month i'm posting my seven blog for the month... that's something that i am not just to doing. now that summer out and i have a new boyfriend; i have been a busy bee...

Casey Anthony's case of murder and lies

Since day one we have been looking for her daughter and the police gather up the beneficence that we need to put her away and just what lets her go... what's the matter with them? is there no justice for a little girl that didn't have a right to die??? i hope to god that he knows what she did with her daughter and won't let her get away with this type of crime...

2nd month and counting

This month is the second month of being with my boyfriend.

Nervous builds

Just last month at our last bunco we reviler invite to alyaha's fourth birthday at her grandma's house. i haven't been there since Kai went back to her biological parents house.... it's going to be hard for me... so right now i am praying to god that he gives me the strength that i need to get thou it...

Happy Fourth of July!

Happy Fourth of July

Happy Birthday, Zoe

You are turning 8 this year

Night of Fun!

Last night my friends came over and we just hanged out with each other. It was very fun to Fellowship with them

July is here!

Happy July 1st to everyone!